Ultracrepidarian Eco Tote Bag – Funny Know-It-All & Smart-Ass Vocabulary Tote
✓ Made to order
✓ Secure checkout
✓ Free U.S. shipping over $75
✓ We’ll replace damaged or misprinted items
Carries groceries, books, and entirely unsolicited expert opinions.
Meet ULTRACREPIDARIAN — someone who gives expert opinions on subjects they know absolutely nothing about. So, everyone online.
Featuring a clever vintage dictionary-inspired design with plenty of intellectual sarcasm, this eco tote is made for word nerds, professional eye-rollers, sarcasm enthusiasts, and anyone who has survived one too many conversations with a self-appointed expert.
Part of the Smart-Ass Dictionary Collection — big words, questionable attitudes.
Carry the essentials. Judge quietly. Let the vocabulary do the insulting.
• 100% certified organic cotton 3/1 twill
• Fabric weight: 8 oz/yd² (272 g/m²)
• Dimensions: 16″ × 14 ½″ × 5″ (40.6 cm × 35.6 cm × 12.7 cm)
• Weight limit: 30 lbs (13.6 kg)
• 1″ (2.5 cm) wide dual straps, 24.5″ (62.2 cm) length
• Open main compartment
• Blank product sourced from India
Ultracrepidarian Eco Tote Bag – Funny Know-It-All & Smart-Ass Vocabulary Tote
Carries groceries, books, and entirely unsolicited expert opinions.
Meet ULTRACREPIDARIAN — someone who gives expert opinions on subjects they know absolutely nothing about. So, everyone online.
Featuring a clever vintage dictionary-inspired design with plenty of intellectual sarcasm, this eco tote is made for word nerds, professional eye-rollers, sarcasm enthusiasts, and anyone who has survived one too many conversations with a self-appointed expert.
Part of the Smart-Ass Dictionary Collection — big words, questionable attitudes.
Carry the essentials. Judge quietly. Let the vocabulary do the insulting.
• 100% certified organic cotton 3/1 twill
• Fabric weight: 8 oz/yd² (272 g/m²)
• Dimensions: 16″ × 14 ½″ × 5″ (40.6 cm × 35.6 cm × 12.7 cm)
• Weight limit: 30 lbs (13.6 kg)
• 1″ (2.5 cm) wide dual straps, 24.5″ (62.2 cm) length
• Open main compartment
• Blank product sourced from India
FIRST WE MAKE IT. THEN YOU STALK THE TRACKING.
Every WordSmirk™ item is made to order, which means your new favorite shirt or hoodie doesn’t actually exist yet. You buy it. We make it. Very existential.
Once your item has finished its journey from idea to actual thing you can wear, it ships.
Your shipping time is added on top of the production time and depends on the shipping method you selected at checkout.
So the basic equation is:
Production Time + Your Selected Shipping Time = “WHERE IS MY SHIRT?!”
Don’t worry. It’s coming.
Good words take a little time. Great ones come with tracking numbers.
Guessing your size is fun right up until the package arrives.
That’s why we provide a Size Guide on every product page. Simply click “Size Guide” next to the product size options to see the measurements before making any irreversible wardrobe decisions.
Measure yourself. Check the guide. Choose wisely.
Because “I’m pretty sure I’m a medium” is still not a recognized unit of measurement.
And remember: our products are made to order, so this is one of those rare occasions when size really does matter.
| Color |
Oyster |
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