Hard Wood Flooring Co. — Fitted Tee
✓ Made to order
✓ Secure checkout
✓ Free U.S. shipping over $75
✓ We’ll replace damaged or misprinted items
Naturally hard. Professionally laid.
Some flooring companies install wood. Hard Wood Flooring Co. has built an entirely fictional reputation around doing it properly.
This fitted tee looks like it came straight from a small-town flooring contractor that’s been laying hardwood for decades. The distressed vintage artwork, old-school trade-company styling and suspiciously confident slogan make it look perfectly legitimate—right up until someone reads “Naturally hard. Professionally laid.”
That’s when the double take happens.
Part of the Shady Business™ collection: questionable companies, surprisingly good shirts.
• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Heather Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Fabric weight: 4.3 oz/yd² (145.8 g/m²)
• 32 singles
• Pre-shrunk
Size guide
| BODY LENGTH (inches) | BODY WIDTH (inches) | |
| S | 28 | 19 |
| M | 29 | 20 ½ |
| L | 30 | 22 |
| XL | 31 | 24 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 |
Hard Wood Flooring Co. — Fitted Tee
Naturally hard. Professionally laid.
Some flooring companies install wood. Hard Wood Flooring Co. has built an entirely fictional reputation around doing it properly.
This fitted tee looks like it came straight from a small-town flooring contractor that’s been laying hardwood for decades. The distressed vintage artwork, old-school trade-company styling and suspiciously confident slogan make it look perfectly legitimate—right up until someone reads “Naturally hard. Professionally laid.”
That’s when the double take happens.
Part of the Shady Business™ collection: questionable companies, surprisingly good shirts.
• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Heather Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Fabric weight: 4.3 oz/yd² (145.8 g/m²)
• 32 singles
• Pre-shrunk
Size guide
| BODY LENGTH (inches) | BODY WIDTH (inches) | |
| S | 28 | 19 |
| M | 29 | 20 ½ |
| L | 30 | 22 |
| XL | 31 | 24 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 |
FIRST WE MAKE IT. THEN YOU STALK THE TRACKING.
Every WordSmirk™ item is made to order, which means your new favorite shirt or hoodie doesn’t actually exist yet. You buy it. We make it. Very existential.
Once your item has finished its journey from idea to actual thing you can wear, it ships.
Your shipping time is added on top of the production time and depends on the shipping method you selected at checkout.
So the basic equation is:
Production Time + Your Selected Shipping Time = “WHERE IS MY SHIRT?!”
Don’t worry. It’s coming.
Good words take a little time. Great ones come with tracking numbers.
Guessing your size is fun right up until the package arrives.
That’s why we provide a Size Guide on every product page. Simply click “Size Guide” next to the product size options to see the measurements before making any irreversible wardrobe decisions.
Measure yourself. Check the guide. Choose wisely.
Because “I’m pretty sure I’m a medium” is still not a recognized unit of measurement.
And remember: our products are made to order, so this is one of those rare occasions when size really does matter.
| Color |
Black, Midnight Navy, Cool Blue, Graphite Black, Red, Forest Green, Heavy Metal, Royal Blue, Heather Grey, Desert Pink, Cream, Natural, Light Blue |
|---|---|
| Size |
S, M, L, XL, 2XL |